Something my parent taught me about parenthood

Bad news

You never stop feeling responsible.

You always hate seeing characteristics you don’t like in yourself being exhibited by those

you are responsible for.

You’re never sure if what you are doing is the appropriate action and if it will result in

the desired effect.

What may work for one child will probably not work for another.


Good news

Living things will probably survive in spite of what you mess up.

The successful accomplishments of those you’re responsible for are the best moments

you will have, remember them and cherish them,


In conclusion

Life’s a crapshoot, welcome to the casino.


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Try to avoid negotiating/making decisions in front of your teen. This gives your teen access to who is leaning which way on certain issues and invites them trying to divide you on the issue for their benefit.[i]


* * * *


Avoid rhetorical questions when you are angry. I have never seen a teen answer ‘what were you thinking?’ in a way that was helpful.


[i] Furthermore, arguing in front of children has been found to be associated with later behavior problems in children. Pauli-Pott, Ursula & Beckmann, Dieter. (2007). On the Association of Interparental Conflict With Developing Behavioral Inhibition and Behavior Problems in Early Childhood. Journal of Family Psychology 21(3), 529-532.


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