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Be careful what you wish for

April 26, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Be careful what you wish for

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see that one that has been opened for us. -Helen Keller     Some years ago, I had the pleasure of attending a speaker series of famous accomplished women from various industries. One […]

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A time to heal

April 12, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on A time to heal

In the movie Me and you and everyone we know (2005) [i], the character Richard is a recently divorced, shy shoe salesman and father of two boys. In the opening scene, Richard is moving out of his house, essentially being kicked out by his wife. Richard is a plain man, and it is clear this […]

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Goldfish

April 05, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of children,For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Goldfish

  A few years ago I was in the entrance of a Chinese food restaurant waiting to be seated. I was enjoying the ambiance of their waiting area when I noticed the fish swimming in their indoor ‘pond’ that flowed around the perimeter of the room. Although these fish were quite large, they resembled goldfish. […]

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Fighting the addiction

March 14, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Fighting the addiction

I find that trying to quit any bad habit or change your behavior is in many ways like quitting an addiction. With that in mind, I think the following tips for someone trying to quit an addiction can be helpful for anyone trying to change a pattern of behavior that that are addicted to, such […]

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Lived wisdom

February 26, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Lived wisdom

Some advice on life based on lessons learned as a psychologist: 8 Things I’ve Learned from Being a Psychotherapist  

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Broken record

February 22, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Broken record

Effecting change can be a slow and difficult process. Most real behavioral change boils down to the altering of habits. While this sounds simple enough, just because it is simple does not mean it is easy. Anyone who has tried to change his habits can tell you it usually isn’t. This is due to several […]

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On suffering

February 09, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on On suffering

There are 2 ways that we all can contribute to our own suffering: 1) You hold onto what you expected or hoped for, and resist what is the reality in front of you. 2) When your choices or behavior and your values are not aligned, and you disapprove of your own actions.   Logically, to reduce […]

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We’ll see

February 01, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of children,For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on We’ll see

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.   “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically.   “We’ll see,” the farmer replied.   The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it […]

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The emotion wave

January 25, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on The emotion wave

In order to learn to tolerate emotions, I find that it helps to think of them as if you are standing in the ocean, facing out to sea, with the water at about your waistline, your back to the beach. Now imagine that a wave is coming towards you. You cannot stop it. You cannot […]

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Drive my car

January 19, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Drive my car

Whether it is anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, etc; most of us know that experience when we are filled with an inconvenient and undeniable feeling. Imagine that feeling as an uninvited person who is getting into your car. Imagine that you are driving a car, and then that familiar uninvited feeling shows up, be it spontaneously, […]

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The sidekick, the bully, and the downer

January 11, 2016  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of children,For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on The sidekick, the bully, and the downer

Sometimes, in order to avoid acting on my emotions or reactions, I find that it helps to separate them from myself. I even imagine an emotion as a separate ‘person,’ giving me bad advice. How I see that person depends on the feeling. Anger reminds me of the sidekick to the bad guy in teen […]

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Second-level emotions

December 14, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Second-level emotions

It is bad enough feeling depressed, or anxious, or angry, or resentful. There are times when it is almost impossible to avoid these feelings. But then we get caught up in what my wife refers to as ‘the second level.’ You can be depressed about being depressed, (i.e. “What’s wrong with me? Why do I […]

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On Fear

December 07, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on On Fear

  “What is fear anyway? It’s a series of automatic responses to a given stimulus, characterized by increased heart rate, respiratory activity, and adrenaline function. The only problem with fear is that it has largely become inappropriate and non-adaptive. Do sweaty palms help to talk to your boss? Does a racing pulse help some kid […]

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Some thoughts on relationships…

November 30, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Some thoughts on relationships…

  Common courtesy is hardest at home.   * * * *   Don’t keep score.   * * * *   If you are arguing about arguing i.e., ‘I didn’t yell!’ ‘Yes, you did!’ or you are taking turns yelling your point without any effort to really consider the point your partner just made, […]

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The traps

November 16, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on The traps

Let’s say, for the sake of discussion, that you decide one day that you will no longer have a certain fight with your partner. You clearly love her, and you do not intend to argue. Even though it is hard to let her have her way, you decide that, for the relationship’s sake, you are […]

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Misleading trailer

November 09, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of teenagers,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Misleading trailer

Many parents that I have worked with have asked some variation of the same question at some point in the therapy: “Why is it so hard to raise a teenager?” Inherent in this question is the question ‘why is it so hard to raise OUR teenager?’ Parents want to know if there is something wrong […]

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Superman fights Wonder Woman

October 19, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Superman fights Wonder Woman

One day I was regressing a little, and watching Justice League (TV Series 2001-2006), a cartoon show about a superhero team including, among others, Superman and Wonder Woman. In that episode Superman and Wonder Woman were fighting a villain that used magic. He created a flash of light as a distraction. When the light faded, […]

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Fun house mirrors

October 05, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Fun house mirrors

“There is more in heaven and earth than can be dreamt of in your imagination.”            -William Shakespeare   * * * *   Emotions distort our perceptions. This is a real problem since our perceptions are pretty subjective to start out with, if they get too distorted, they may not resemble what […]

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Letting Go

September 28, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Letting Go

Most people are probably familiar with the five stages of dying (sometimes also known as the five stages of grief). Elizabeth Kubler-Ross originally conceived of these as the stages that a dying patient may experience when he finds out that he is dying. She theorized that some people may not pass through all the stages, […]

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Coping with Depression and Anxiety

September 28, 2015  |   Posted by :   |   For parents of teenagers,For teens,metaphors to help facilitate communication   |   Comments Off on Coping with Depression and Anxiety

A very well done comic on what it is like to live with depression and anxiety: http://tapastic.com/episode/172922

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