May 18th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
May 17th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
This article offers parents tips at deciphering what may be behind mood shifts in their kids:
http://www.nannypro.com/blog/10-reasons-kids-suddenly-become-argumentative/
May 17th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
Teenagers are most likely to start abusing prescription pain relievers in the middle of high school, according a Michigan State University study.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexandra-pisano/teens-prescription-drugs_b_1514683.html
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_124912.html
May 15th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
Nearly half the teens polled admit that they text while driving despite a knowledge of the risks, and about the same number admitted that they had seen their parents doing the same:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/47416857/ns/technology_and_science-wireless/#.T7KXwr8igTk
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2018204230_drivetexting14.html
May 14th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
Something my parent taught me about parenthood
Bad news
You never stop feeling responsible.
You always hate seeing characteristics you don’t like in yourself being exhibited by those
you are responsible for.
You’re never sure if what you are doing is the appropriate action and if it will result in
the desired effect.
What may work for one child will probably not work for another.
Good news
Living things will probably survive in spite of what you mess up.
The successful accomplishments of those you’re responsible for are the best moments
you will have, remember them and cherish them,
In conclusion
Life’s a crapshoot, welcome to the casino.
* * * *
Afterthoughts
Try to avoid negotiating/making decisions in front of your teen. This gives your teen access to who is leaning which way on certain issues and invites them trying to divide you on the issue for their benefit.[i]
* * * *
Avoid rhetorical questions when you are angry. I have never seen a teen answer ‘what were you thinking?’ in a way that was helpful.
[i] Furthermore, arguing in front of children has been found to be associated with later behavior problems in children. Pauli-Pott, Ursula & Beckmann, Dieter. (2007). On the Association of Interparental Conflict With Developing Behavioral Inhibition and Behavior Problems in Early Childhood. Journal of Family Psychology 21(3), 529-532.
May 14th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
I return here to lessons I learned from caring for my dog. I repeat that in no way am I suggesting that caring for a dog is the same as parenting a teenager. Simply, that the role of caretaker has certain elements that can be generalized to both relationships. Another lesson I learned from owning a dog has more to do with my own behavior. When he was a new puppy, I felt a certain ease with ‘misbehavior,’ i.e., begging, peeing inside, nipping, etc. After all, he was a puppy. But as he got older, it became time to teach him, and my expectations began to shift. This is normal enough, except that my expectations (realistic or not) shifted faster than his behavior adjusted.
I observed that when he peed inside or did something else, I became intensely embarrassed, as if this transgression reflected on me as his owner. If he peed inside, it suggested that I wasn’t doing a good enough job as his owner. It proved that I had not taught him well. This embarrassment turned to shame quickly enough (as embarrassment is prone to do), and my feelings dictated how I responded to his behavior. My responses were no longer about teaching him or shaping his behavior. They were driven by my shame and frustration.
This was a ‘parenting’ error. It wasn’t his fault that he hadn’t learned yet. He wasn’t doing it to spite or embarrass me. He just hadn’t developed the ability to control the urge yet, or the conditioning had not fully shaped his behavior yet. Either way, my frustration blinded me. This is a valuable lesson in accepting a child’s learning curve.
May 8th, 2012 § 0 Click on title to comment!
A great article by a friend and colleague, Sari Shaicovitch,
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